May 19, 2015

Week 3, Day 1: My choice to become a SAHM (Stay at Home Mom)

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:19 am by ctennert

Two weeks ago, I left my career as an Advertising Sales Manager to become a SAHM.  It is now the third week, Monday, and I am just now getting to write, which I knew I wanted to pick back up being at home.  I am just now getting to do this mostly because I have not had a working computer at my disposal since leaving my job.  All my equipment including phone, ipad and laptop were company-owned.

There is a lot that I would like to get out into words, so this blog may just start out being an electronic diary, of sorts.

I have felt, and am currently feeling all sorts of emotions surrounding this choice.  First of all, it was the absolute right choice for me, my husband, and my son.  I have absolutely no regrets, and feel comfortable with my decision.  With that being said, it was still a very tough choice.  Anyone that knows me personally, knows I am a very career-driven individual.  I am saying I AM a career-driven professional, not I WAS, because I still am.  I am merely pushing the pause button on my professional career in order to be at home as Mom.  I am needed here.

Loathing Daycare

This was a driver in my decision, big time.  Let me back up for a moment to say that the decision to leave my stable, good-paying career is much like a pie chart; there were many elements that lead my husband and I to this decision, all of varying importance, or percentages if you will.  Daycare.  Ugh.  The facility we were using was OK.  I had no real qualms with the facility, staff, or service.  The location was ideal:  right across the street from my place of employment.  I could go visit my baby and feed him throughout the day, and be back on time for meetings, etc.  It was just the act of dropping him off there every day, the physical act of it, that drove me nuts.  Shlepping my breast pump, lunch, laptop, purse, carseat every day was tasking.  For what?  For my babe to sit at a facility with strangers all day?  Sometimes I could not get away from work, so I pumped at work in a designated room.  For what?  For a stranger to feed him.  I say for what, but obviously, to earn a paycheck.  We all go to work to earn a paycheck in order to live our lives.  For those blessed enough to absolutely love what they do regardless of pay, I am envious.  I liked a lot of elements of what I was doing, but don’t get me wrong- if we won the lotto tomorrow, things would look a lot different.  Anyway, daycare.  I never really connected there, or felt settled in.  I was not allowed a badge to enter the building, even though other  parents were, because they were employed by the hospital that facilitated the daycare.  So, pretty much every day, I would stand outside waiting for a daycare employee who didn’t give a hoot to let me in.  Pumping, bottles, carseat, coordinating with the ‘teacher’ on when he was hungry, etc. was wearing on me, and quick.  For the record, I lasted 4 months at work after returning from maternity leave, which was 14 weeks I believe.  The price was not palatable for us either, at $1k per month, it had to end.  I am glad, however, that he only became sick one time, and it was just a cold.

Time

You can always make more money, but you can never make more time.  These months/years are precious with the little one.  I didn’t want to look back and regret not spending more time with him.  With both myself and my husband working full time, we were spending MAYBE two hours quality time together as a family per day.  Dinner was always rushed, or not planned out, since we were both busy working.  Getting off work at 530, pickup from daycare, and sitting down to hopefully a dinner that one of us threw together (mostly my husband), and starting a wind-down routine around 7ish for a baby bedtime of 8pm sharp, time was not on our sides.  Start over again tomorrow. I was tired.   I will probably talk more about time later.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: